


Breathe You In

by TLynn



Category: The Matrix (1999 2003 2003)
Genre: F/M, POV First Person, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-05
Updated: 2011-07-05
Packaged: 2017-10-21 02:01:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/219654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TLynn/pseuds/TLynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trinity opens to the possibilities of becoming part of Two.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breathe You In

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fill-in-the-blanks piece that takes place after the cave scene from 'Reloaded'.

You alternate between perfect unconsciousness and fitful sleep. Now, as you lay on your back next to me, your body   
still for the moment, I once again marvel at just how beautiful you are. My eyes trace over you, your dark hair   
and pale skin, long eyelashes that almost touch the crest of your cheeks, and the blush of pink that tints your soft   
lips. I resist the urge to touch them now, to let my fingertips brush against them. You need this rest, even if   
it will be interrupted any moment now by your own restless mind.

I watch your eyelids and I can see that you're dreaming. I want to crawl into those dreams and see the message they   
bring to you. You won't let me in, even for a second, and I am tortured by the look in your eyes when you wake. You   
believe them to be more than dreams, I know, more than subconscious thought and unconscious desire. You analyze   
them constantly, turning each detail over and over again in your head. They weigh on you. I can see it. Don't you know   
I can see it?

You move next to me again. You turn until your back is facing me and I can hear your breathing become shallow. You   
return to your back, and then turn again, this time until you are facing me. You want so desperately to sleep, to   
rest, even if for just a few short hours. Your body screams for it. I wish I was plagued with your dreams, I wish I   
could bear their burden for you.

You are about to wake up now. I watch your face, watch as your lips part slightly and your eyelids flutter open. Your   
eyes adjust to the dark and you see me before you. My eyes are shut and you think I'm asleep. My breathing is deep and   
even and my body is still, and you are convinced even further. I can feel you watching me, your eyes studying me.   
Am I in your dreams? Do they make you fear for me? I can feel your worry, it radiates onto me in waves. I know you   
want to take me into your arms right now, wrap around me and keep me safe. But I am safe. Right next to you, I'm   
safe. I believe that. What do you know? What do you see? I wish I could see what you see. I wish I could understand   
why you can't believe it with me.

You move towards me slightly, carefully, and it seems natural to meet you halfway. So I do. Even in sleep, I know   
I would do the same thing; it's as natural as breathing. I move until I am pressed against you, my head pillowed on   
your chest and your arm hooked around the curve of my hip. The contact seems to calm us both and I can feel you start   
to relax. My mind starts to cloud with sleepiness, thoughts intertwining and running into one another, and before long,   
I'm drifting away into my own dreamless sleep.

I don't even feel it when you jerk awake once more, slip out from underneath me, and retreat from the room.

When I'm pulled from my sleep, I see you are gone, but I can still feel you next to me. I can still feel your warmth   
on the sheets. I reach out a hand, letting my open palm run across that warmth, soaking it in until gooseflesh erupts   
across the expanse of my skin. I steal my hand back quickly until it's tucked beneath my body, safe.

The responsibility you carry is greater than that of anyone I have ever known. I know it and understand it, I admire   
you for it and I pity you for it. When you look at me, I see the turmoil within you and I see the determination, but   
I also see something that frightens me beyond words. I don't even know if you're conscious of it.

Reliance. Dependence.

Your path is to be taken alone and while I have the greatest of faith in you, I wonder if you will allow   
yourself to do so. The sadist in me wants to find out. If I were to get up and leave right now, would you be able to   
handle it? Perhaps. Perhaps not. It's a question that will never be answered, so I just let the thought float around   
in my mind, coming back to it from time to time. It keeps me in touch with reality.

And I need that connection because it would be so easy to lose myself in you. I did that once. He was the second   
potential we unplugged. He was younger than you, even younger than me. He was intense and strong and believed   
himself to be limitless. He wanted me. He wanted it all. And he believed he could have it. As the days passed, we   
all began to believe it, too. It wasn't long before I started shoving the pieces together, turning a blind eye to   
small details that didn't seem to fit. I allowed myself to fall in love with him and in that instant, sealed his fate.   
Maybe I shouldn't, but I blame myself for his death. I told him what the Oracle said, just as I told you. He became   
unstoppable after that. His actions became shortsighted and his attitude bordering on arrogant at times. They killed   
him with ease in the end and it tore me apart.

I know you are different. Just as I know how to breathe, how to walk and talk. You seem inherent to me and that's   
the difference. But my guard is still up, just as strong as it was the day he died, just as strong as it was in the   
years following, when we unplugged more potentials. I can see now how artificial my connection was to them. I was   
searching for it, willing it to fruition and as a result, I distanced myself from them. They all met their demise while   
fighting for something they weren't even sure they believed yet as I watched from the shadows. I loathed myself after   
their deaths, convinced that if I could have been stronger, they'd still be alive. But there seemed no easy answer, no   
simple solution. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I began to think the Oracle was full of shit, that the   
prophecy was some parlor trick to distract us from some unknown truth.

Then you came along. When I first saw you, my eyes reading in the falling code, I felt it. I didn't want to and fought   
it instantly. I was doing a pretty good job of remaining objective, too, until we unplugged you. Contact with you in   
the Matrix was always a challenge, but I constantly reminded myself of its artificiality and it seemed to be   
enough to keep my uncertainties at bay. It wasn't until I saw you in front of me, flesh and blood and in the real   
world, that I knew everything had changed in some way. It terrified me. I wanted so badly to give in to simple   
optimism, but I had seen too much to indulge in such a thing. I needed more proof. I wasn't about to surrender   
myself again, to put myself, or you, in a position that could prove fatal for one, and emotionally suicidal for   
another.

I couldn't stop you from crawling under my skin, though. I couldn't stop myself from loving you. And I began to   
believe. I knew you were The One, even if you didn't. The future had always been a complete unknown, but up to that   
point, it had a pattern of regularity that was comforting. You changed it all. Your presence suddenly turned the   
abstract idea of an unknown future into a direct reason to hope.

Yet, I'm still scared. Even as I lie in our bed, wishing you were next to me, I'm terrified of losing you. My   
reliance on you is just as strong as yours on me and I know that if you were to ever leave, I would shatter beyond   
repair. I struggle with the idea of it, trying to convince myself that I am not a weaker person, or solider, because   
of it. I've closed myself off for so long, it has become a habit, so I hope you can bear with me while my heart learns   
to work once again.

I hear you enter the room now and a calm spreads over me from the balls of my feet the tip of my nose. I watch as   
you pull your shirt over your head in the dark and feel your way through the dark until you reach the bed. You   
slide under the covers carefully and lie on your back, one hand reaching out beneath the blankets to rest on my bare   
thigh.

"Still awake," I say, not ask.

You jump slightly at the sound of my voice and turn your head until we are face to face.

"Can't sleep."

"Can I help?" I ask.

"No," you say, after some thought.

"If you ever need anything, you know you can ask me, don't you?"

"Yeah," you say. "I know."

"Okay," I say.

Your eyes search my face, intruding upon every detail you see. You open your mouth as if to say something,   
but close it again immediately and exhale audibly. I reach up and curl my fingers around your neck, pulling   
you towards me gently. You move until our bodies meet again and a shiver runs through me as my heated skin   
presses against your chilled body. I pull your head down to me still, nesting it safely in the curve of my neck.   
Your arm wraps comfortably around my waist, your hand splayed gently across the small of my back. In silence,   
your body warms next to mine and after just a few minutes, I smile in the darkness as I feel you fall into what I   
hope will be a dreamless slumber.

And my resolve melts away just a little more, welcoming you in, where you belong.

***  
end

**Author's Note:**

> To my Beta Goddess, the_spin. And to Danascully for her mid-story pep talk.


End file.
